Wednesday, September 30, 2009

REVISION MOUTH

Revisions are rotting my brain. No joke. My capacity for human speech has been compromised. Not the kind on paper…clearly. But just try to carry on a conversation with me right now. It’s not pretty. I can barely form full sentences, and if I do they come out sounding like a garbled mess. I stutter and stammer. I have word salad.

My family laughs. They’ve even named it: Revision Mouth.

In fact, I do blame revisions. They’ve hijacked whatever part of my brain is responsible for verbal communication, focusing all of my energy on the written word instead.

So, if you happen to see me in the grocery store and I say something like: “Whkshldfkdshf,” don’t take offense. In all likelihood I’ve just complimented you. Not my fault it wasn’t coherent, it was the Revision Mouth speaking.

Just pretend you didn’t notice, and, like the penguins say, smile and wave. Just smile and wave…

By the way, those jeans really do look good on you.

14 comments:

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

Hehehe, I feel like that happens to me all the time but I never thought to blame it on revisions! I'll keep that in mind.

Kim said...

So THAT'S what this is! :)

(I'm working on revisions, too.)

Maprilynne said...

LOL! I get stare off into space brain while revising. At least you say something!!:D

Reverie said...

LMAO!!! ohh you poor thing!! At least ur full of compliments! :D

Hope you get done soon! We miss you and I am sure ur family misses non-Revision Mouth!

Patti said...

Hopefully revision month will come to end soon and you can get back to having a functioning brain.

Lisa and Laura said...

Love it! This reminds me of when we were revising and my non-writing sister had her baby and I kept calling him Liam. Yeah, his name was Will and Liam was a character in our book.

Worst. Sister. Ever.

PJ Hoover said...

I would love to see you at the grocery and wouldn't even care what you said!

Kimberly Derting said...

Frankie - You just have to be more creative, I blame all of my shortcomings on something!

Kim - You betcha. Seriously, my brain is like mush right now.

Aprilynne - I'm glad to hear it's not just me! I catch myself totally spacing out sometimes (I thought maybe I was having some sort of short circuit). Apparently I should just make it a blanket Revision *Brain* thing.

Vania - Don't worry, I'll be back. And then y'all will be sick of me!

Patti - Almost done. Must. Hit. Send. Soon!

LiLa - Seriously??? That's freakin' hilarious. I'm gonna start calling my kids Violet and Jay!!!

PJ - It's a date, next time I'm in Texas we'll go to the Safeway together! ;)

Shelli said...

babble babble babble - ditto!

Katie said...

So funny!. I need to think. I'm not sure I've experienced this before but I'm well on my way.

Little Ms J said...

Oh my goodness! Is that what this is? My husband actually stopped me mid-jumbled sentence last night and told me to go take an Ambien and quiet my mind.

Tam said...

Careful, the kids could work this: Mom, you said we could go to Disneyland for Christmas. I swear, you said that last night.

Cindy Callaghan said...

I can totally relate.
Cindy -

Kimberly Derting said...

Shelli - You're almost done, and then you'll be obsessively checking your email a gazillion times a day!

Katie - Since I know you're in revisions, I fully expect it to take hold any minute now!!!

LMJ - Send some of that Ambien my way, I think my mind could use a little quieting. ;)

Tam - So far I think being around me *is* like Disneyland. They think I'm hysterical!!! But, yeah, better watch what I promise.

Cindy - Good to know we're not alone, right???