Thursday, April 2, 2009

FAKING IT!

With Easter right around the corner, I’m feeling that familiar dread creeping in.

After my last post, you know how long I’ve been a’parentin' (it's been a long, looong time). And I have some complaints, some things I’m just plain-ole tired of doing. Except that I’m not done yet. See, my youngest is only eight. Which means…I’ve still got work to do. Lots of it. Which means FAKING IT, because the 8-year-old deserves the excited mommy that the 22-year-old got on her first day.

Here is a list of things that I am SO OVER:

1) Easter Eggs: It’s not that it wasn’t fun the first 5 or 6 times, but come on! I’m at, like, 18+ and counting. And there’s no end in sight…she’s only eight, for God’s sake!!!

2) Picking out the Christmas Tree: Okay, so here’s my gripe with this. We live in a rainy climate, not snowy and picturesque. We dress the kids appropriately, pile into the car where they commence to bickering, stop at a tree farm where they argue over trees, attach the tree to the roof of our vehicle, and then drive home where my husband and I bitch at each other as we’re putting it up. And then it’s a daily mess of pine needles until it becomes a shriveled fire hazard. (Note: A couple of years ago I caved and bought the fake tree, trading the fantastic real-tree smell and vacuuming every day for an annual trip to the garage and pre-hung lights. This has been a vast improvement.)

3) Decorating said tree: This year my husband and I fixed ourselves Baileys & coffee and sat back and watched the kids do all of the decorating, clumps of ornaments and all. Funny thing, the tree was beautiful. Or the drinks were strong. Either way, it was win-win.

4) Weekly homework packets: Like I don’t have better things to do after school than to stand over my kids and make them cry. (Oh yeah, did I mention I’m not very patient with homework. My kids don’t like my “help”.)

5) Carving pumpkins: Again, rainy weather = mud at the pumpkin patch. AND if I have to watch another child fall apart because they’ve accidentally carved off their pumpkin’s tooth, I swear I am personally going to hunt down The Great Pumpkin!

6) And, finally, School music performances: Two hours? Really? Sorry, I only really just want to see my kid…not yours, and not everyone else’s.

I’m C-E-R-T-A-I-N that I’ve missed a few (or twenty!) of my own personal peeves, but I’m throwing it back to you. What are some of the things that you don’t love doing over and over (and over) again???

18 comments:

PJ Hoover said...

I'm only at year eight of Easter eggs, so I'm still loving them.
And wow - that's quite an age gap you have there!

Kimberly Derting said...

There's one in the middle too. For some reason, I thought every seven years seemed like a good idea!

PJ Hoover said...

Oy. That is brave :)

Suzanne Young said...

I LOVE this post! haha. I'd have to go with Soccer games.

Christy Raedeke said...

I could have written this list myself! Add to it "field trips" especially those in pre-school when I'm paying tuition. This year I've stopped "helping" on field trips and am getting the stink-eye from teachers and the superhelpfulmombots. Seriously, why do I have to help when I'm *paying* for school? And in elementary school, I'd rather ice skate with my kids on the weekend and have them do math during school time than have to chaperon on a skating field trip and do math homework on the weekend. Color me bitchy!

Kimberly Derting said...

Suzanne, we don't have soccer, but we *did* have Little League (thankfully, our son gave it up), but I'm not a hang-out-in-the-rain kind of mom so that was brutal for me!

And, Christy, I'm not the field trip or art docent or PTA mom, either. If I volunteer in the classroom, I'd rather make copies or stuff folders (a little less hands-on). Wow, how unfriendly does that make me sound? That's why I could *never* be a teacher! ;)

Stacy said...

One of the joys of twins...far less repeating!! I think it makes up for the insanity of having two infants at once. :D

Heidi said...

I love this post!! I feel awful that I'm only eleven years in and I'm already feeling burned out for my five year old!

My son's strings concert, though, lasted seven minutes. Grandparents drove in. We all dressed up. We arrived 30 minutes early for the tuning, etc. For seven minutes.

I would have complained, but I was secretly just a bit happy.

Lisa Schroeder said...

My youngest is a bit older than yours (almost 12), but I was just thinking, man, I have to figure out Easter basket stuff. I've never been big on the candy, so they've always gotten some toy. Well, now I guess it's a DS game or something. What was I thinking? I should stuck with candy! :)

I also sat back as the kids decorated the tree this year. That's the way, uh-huh uh-huh I like it!

Lisa and Laura said...

Oh gosh, so this is what I have to look forward to? Is it terrible that I always just send my kids over to my mom's house to decorate Easter Eggs?

Wait, don't answer that...

Kimberly Derting said...

Hey Stacy -- I think the reason my kids are spaced so far apart is because, to me, having even an infant and a toddler is insanity...I can't imagine TWO infants!

Seven minutes, Heidi...OMG, I'm so jealous! Although, this year my daughter was sick on the day of her concert. I felt so bad for her (or did I???).

Lisa, I used to worry so much about the tree being "perfect"...I would even re-decorate it after letting them clump the ornaments all together. Now I'm just happy if they make it out of the box and onto the branches. My standards have really lowered! ;)

And, LiLa, I don't even know what to say to you! Except, can my kids come to your mom's house??? *sigh*

Lori Palomino said...

See, my friend, this is precisely why I love you so much! You make me feel normal. And I haven't been at this nearly as long. . .

Kimberly Derting said...

I never doubted that there was a reason (besides a shared birthday) that we were friends, Lori! :) Btw, Happy Almost Birthday!!!

Leigh said...

First the pic of the bunnies made me totally squee this morning! That is far too much cuteness for a Friday.

And omg, I'm glad I don't have kids sometimes...and being auntie 3000 miles away ensures I'm never invited to those school perfs. LOL!

Patti said...

You forgot Halloween, I hate finding costumes

Kimberly Derting said...

OMG, yes, Patti! I love Halloween, but HATE costume shopping!! I used to spend hours hand-sewing my oldest daughter's costumes...now it's a trip to Costume City to get whatever plastic crap I can convince my youngest looks great on her (and doesn't fray too badly around the edges)! Yeesh!!!

Leigh -- "Auntie" sounds awfully fun right about now!!!

Tam said...

This is why I love you, Kim! Of course, I have a list too, but if you remember, I'm the one who got dissed by my entire family last Halloween and suddenly, all that stuff seemed really important. For a minute. Then I realized I didn't have to clean up all that slimy pumkin goo and I was ecstatic! Great post!!

Shelli said...

im over eating turkey - cant we have like mexican food for xmas - why always turkey. You're hilarious!