Revisions are rotting my brain. No joke. My capacity for human speech has been compromised. Not the kind on paper…clearly. But just try to carry on a conversation with me right now. It’s not pretty. I can barely form full sentences, and if I do they come out sounding like a garbled mess. I stutter and stammer. I have word salad.
My family laughs. They’ve even named it: Revision Mouth.
In fact, I do blame revisions. They’ve hijacked whatever part of my brain is responsible for verbal communication, focusing all of my energy on the written word instead.
So, if you happen to see me in the grocery store and I say something like: “Whkshldfkdshf,” don’t take offense. In all likelihood I’ve just complimented you. Not my fault it wasn’t coherent, it was the Revision Mouth speaking.
Just pretend you didn’t notice, and, like the penguins say, smile and wave. Just smile and wave…
By the way, those jeans really do look good on you.