Am I Really Ready For The AARP???

I just got back from a nice family vacation with the family.

(Translation: We just forced our 17-year-old to leave his friends and spend four entire days with us.)

We travelled east of the mountains, which, in Washington State means leaving behind mountains, trees, and rain, in search of sun and sand and general desert-like conditions. It’s our version of Palm Springs, but without the uber-luxurious resorts and celebrity sightings. Instead we have places like "Kimmi D's":

I know, we’re dorks but c’mon, that’s pretty cool, right??? My son was convinced that if we’d gone inside, my doppelganger would have served us. I guess we’ll never know!!

So, our camping agenda called for a trip to the nearby waterpark so we could hit the 200-foot waterslides and more importantly, the Lazy River.

But when we got there, this was what we found instead:

Since I’m such a simpleton, I couldn’t resist taking pictures of these two boys who were using the fountains first as enemas and then to “pee” at each other. The funniest part: I don’t think anyone else even noticed them. Boys will definitely be boys!

But, overall, my favorite part of the trip (besides our son repeatedly telling us: “You guys are so lame.” which always cracks us up!) was this little conversational gem that I had while standing in line at the water slide with my daughter.

Little girl to my daughter: Is that your grandma?

My daughter (looking at me): No, that’s my mom.

Me (just standing there listening).

Little girl (to me now): How old are you?

Me: 42

Little girl looks at me for a minute, then: My mom’s 28.

Me (because what do you say to that?): Umm, that’s nice.

Really?! Am I her grandma?!?! I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry.

Seriously, though, when I was telling my husband I thought he was going to pee his pants from laughing so hard. I’ve been asked if I was my oldest daughter’s sister, but never if I was someone’s GRANDMA! And I loved the fact that my daughter was so…whatever…about it. When I asked her later what she thought, she just shrugged and said: “Maybe it was because you weren’t wearing makeup. You don’t look very pretty without makeup.”

Nice, Abby. Nice!

Next time I go to a waterpark, I'm definitely wearing make-up. And pigtails. And maybe even some water wings.


Kate said…
OMG that cracked me up! I def. don't think you look like a grandma tho, but it was still funny. The things kids say..
Heidi Willis said…
This whole post made me laugh! I think my own kids have done that enema-pee thing. I roll my eyes and walk away as my hubs cheers them on.

You definitely do NOT look like a grandma!! I do think there are some 20 year olds with kids at my elementary school, though, and I feel old picking up my girls sometimes. Thankfully, no smart alec kid has had the nerve to say it to my face, though.

Gotta love Abby. Honest to a fault!
tammara said…
First, no WAY do you look like a Grandma. And as for the how-you-look-without-makeup comment, when my daughter was much younger, she once said (not when we were alone, poor me), "I wish you were pretty, like my Barbie." Cue everyone with open mouths and nothing to say, including me. Sigh.
Diane J. said…
Dang it, Kim! I just spit coffee on my keyboard, give us a warning will ya?

Oh my gosh, this whole post is hysterical. Dragging the teen boy away from friends. I'm sure he thought it was some form of punishment, right?

You don't look like a grandma! That little girl was obviously blinded from all the sun on that side of the earth...oops, state. Is there really sun in our state? I must get over the mountain.
LOL!!! That is so funny! You are FAR from looking like a grandma though :)

It's so funny what kids will say sometimes. I'm sure I'll be in for it when my daughter grows up :)

Glad you were able to go on vacation and relax!
Sweet Lady Jess said…
Favorite line (not as an insult, just loved your daughter's justification): “Maybe it was because you weren’t wearing makeup. You don’t look very pretty without makeup.”
Hannah S said…
Psh, you're gorgeous! And no way do you look like a grandma!

I remember when I was a seventh grader (when puberty struck me HARD. Like, no mercy!) and so I was... odd looking. :)
A little girl asked me why I had a mustache. :(
I started waxing then!

Love, Hannah
Marsha Sigman said…
LOL, my son thought I was 23 for about 6 years until he started to really excel in math and figured it out on his own.
He still tells me he feels completely betrayed by my lies. But he's a little dramatic. I wonder where he gets that from?

You totally don't look like a grandma.
Little Ms J said…
Did you punch that little girl in the mouth?

You're gorgeous and you know it. Tell Abby to wash her mouth out with soap.
Mariana said…
You don't look like grandma!

This whole post made me laugh.

Liz. R said…
Again, I'm dripping with water. I need to stop drinking and reading at the same time. Who knew laughing could be so dangerous? :p

And I'm jealous. My holiday got cancelled so I'm stuck with dull weather and no pool in sight. I'm glad you had a good time though! I think I'll go in the garden and pretend I'm at the beach :P.
Heidi - When my oldest was in school, I was one of those "young moms"...what the heck happened???

tammara - OMG, I LOVE the Barbie comment...that is awesome!!!

Diane - Sun, yes, it was fabulous! Of course we picked the one weekend when there was sun on our side of the mountains too. Brilliant!

Hannah, Hannah, Hannah - I sympathy laughed at your line "when puberty struck me HARD." You poor thing!!! ;)

LMJ - I should have, shouldn't I???

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