Tuesday, December 27, 2011
It made me think of a blog post I'd done a couple of years ago, so in honor of my husband's morning gaffe, I decided to re-post this serious health warning to all you women out there:
(Originally posted Sept. 20, 2009)
So something’s been happening around my house lately. Or rather, to my son.
I mean, I knew he was a boy. The doctor told me so on the day he was born. And I was thrilled. Ecstatic. A boy! My boy. And, boy, how this boy would be different. A sensitive, sweet boy. The kind who would listen to what women had to say, who would talk…actually *talk* when asked questions, engaging in, get this, conversation. He wouldn’t respond to questions with just one-word answers or, worse, grunts.
And he was. For years, my little angel told me precious things, like that he wanted to marry me and live with me forever. Okay, maybe not for years, maybe just when he was four, but it was still the sweetest thing ever. And when he hugged, it was different than when the girls did it. His hugs were softer, cuddlier. He melted into me. I wanted to eat him up.
And then it started, a few years ago…the change.
At first it was just the no-more-hand-holding in public. Okay, fine, he doesn’t want to be a sissy, I could live with that. I kept my own hands stuffed carefully inside my pockets, lest I forget the rule.
Then it was the transition into the one-word conversation.
Me: “How was your day?”
Me: “What’d you do?”
Me: “Really? Nothing?”
And, usually, I could coax him back into the world of multi-word dialogue.
But lately, it’s other things, too. Man things.
I honestly believed that this most recent affliction was restricted only to my husband, but as I’ve asked around, it seems that it’s more of a male species sort of thing.
MALE PATTERN BLINDNESS.
So how can you spot the warning signs of Male Pattern Blindness? Well, the answer is simple, conversations between you and the male in question will go a little something like this:
Potentially infected male: “Have you seen my [insert any item here: remote control/car keys/Coca Cola]?”
You: “Where have you looked?”
Him: “Everywhere.” (Note the one-word response)
You: “Did you look in the [insert most obvious location here: couch/pockets/fridge]?”
Him: “Uh-huh.” (This is very nearly a grunt)
You: *sigh* “Fine. Let me look.” You check and find said item in the *exact* location you just discussed. Sitting in plain sight. Or in the case of the remote, possibly wedged slightly between two cushions, which as you can imagine *would* be somewhat confusing.
Ladies, I’m begging you, this is serious! This is neither a joke nor a drill. We need to act quickly before our sons and brothers are poisoned by whatever is ailing or husbands and fathers.
I’m worried that I might already be too late for my sweet little boy, that hormones have already clouded his vision so badly that he can no longer see that bright red can of Coke staring at him from the shelf on the fridge.
Let’s not let it happen to your sons too.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Oh well, I do have some great news. Look what I got on Tuesday (and, no, not for Festivus)…
Yes, you saw right, it’s my very first, shiny new ARC of THE LAST ECHO!!!
And because it’s the season for warm and fuzzy...and you know, giving...I’m thinking that means: GIVEAWAY!!!!
So here’s the deal: I’m going to give away not one, not two, but THREE of these brand-spanking new (and slightly petted), hot-off-the-presses ARCs just in time for the holidays. You can keep it, gift it, or swap it. It’s totally up to you. But first, you have to win it!
From now until noon Pacific Time on Sunday, December 18th, you can earn points by:
2 points – Being or becoming a follower of the blog (this one, right here!)
2 points – For adding The Last Echo to your Goodreads "to-read" shelf
2 points – For being or becoming a follower on Goodreads (different from adding the book, mind you)
2 points – For being or becoming a Twitter follower (c’mon, all the cool kids are doing it!!!)
1 point – For Tweeting/Re-tweeting the contest (there’s a 1-point max here, so don’t send me your 20 points for tweeting ;)
1 point for telling me (in the comments) your favorite Body Finder moment (from any of the books...Enthralled included)
1 point for telling me (in the comments also) what you want for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Festivus!
If you play your cards right, that’s a total of 11 (pretty darn easy!) points you can earn, folks! But remember, I need you to tally those points in your comment* for me and leave your email address so I know how to reach you if/when you win!!!
*I know this cross-posts all over the place, but leave your comment on the original Blogger post at www.kimberlyderting.blogspot.com (not on Goodreads, not on LiveJournal, not on Tumblr...you get the idea!)
Oh, and yes, international entries welcome!
Winners will be chosen using random.org on Sunday, December 18th!
And for those of you who don’t know what Festivus is, check this out:
(Psst...here's the link in case you can't see the video!)
I emailed the winners yesterday but forgot to post them. So for those of you who were curious, here they are (and, yes, I did choose FIVE because I was feeling the holiday spirit!):
Ashley @ Book Labyrinth
Sara (Twitter name: @Olive_Pearl)
Congrats, you guys! And I promise to have another giveaway. SOON!!!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Check it out:
You can read more on her post by clicking...here!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Well, I will be!
You can come hang with me at the Powell's Cedar Hills Crossing store, where I'll be reading, answering questions, and signing with author Janet Lee Carey.
I know...it's a Monday night and you have homework/Monday Night Football/cats to feed, but come on, I really wanna see you guys! So make up some lame excuse to your teacher, set your DVR, and put out a dish of Friskies. How often do we get the chance to chat? Am I right???
See you there!!!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Each author on the hunt is hosting another author’s bonus material (mine is out there on someone else's blog!) AND a link to the next step of the hunt. Take a couple of hours and work your way through the entire circuit collecting the words in red and entering all of the different contests you will find along the way.
For this stop on the Scavenger Hunt, I’m hosting author Jessica Shirvington, author of the upcoming EMBRACE.
How many of us can say we fell in love at seventeen? A lot of us. But how many of us stayed in love? Jessica Shirvington has been lucky enough to meet and marry the man she fell in love with at seventeen. Born and raised in Sydney, Australia, Jessica is married to former Olympic sprinter, five-time National 100m champion, and current sports personality with Australia’s Foxtel and Sky News, Matthew Shirvington.
Married for almost eleven years with two beautiful daughters, Sienna and Winter, Jessica believes her early age romance and its longevity has definitely contributed to how she tackles relationships in her YA novels.
At age nineteen, Jessica opened and managed her first restaurant in Sydney, and then, while she and Matt were living in London, founded a fine food import and distribution company, Stella Imports, in 2003.
Moving back to Australia and searching for a creative outlet after the birth of her second child, Jessica started on her path to writing. Although a long-time lover of creative writing and poetry, Jessica had never considered the possibility of making writing her career. But with some time away from work, she finally had an opportunity to explore her potential. The result is her debut novel, EMBRACE, which marks the start of Violet Eden’s story.
Jessica says: “Writing EMBRACE was an amazing journey for me. Discovering Violet and the other characters in the book has been my delight. The first draft just came together so quickly. I remember starting one day and then, six weeks later I was looking at something that had the makings of a book (I hoped). It took plenty of re-drafts but that, along with the copious amounts of research, the editing, proofing, all of it, has been such an awesome experience.”
When asked why she chose to write young adult fiction, Jessica says: “I never considered writing anything other than YA. The reason is simple — they’re the books I choose to and love to read myself. YA books have the amazing opportunity to be there for a character’s ultimate turning point — to be there for the moments that will shape their adult future. That makes them really special.”
Violet Eden is dreading her seventeenth birthday dinner. After all, it’s hard to get too excited about the day that marks the anniversary of your mother’s death. The one bright spot is that Lincoln will be there. Sexy, mature and aloof, he is Violet’s idea of perfection. But why does he seem so reluctant to be anything more than a friend?
After he gives her the world’s most incredible kiss – and then abandons her on her front doorstep – Violet is determined to get some answers. But nothing could have prepared her for Lincoln’s explanation: he is Grigori – part angel and part human – and Violet is his eternal partner.
Without warning, Violet’s world is turned upside down. She never believed in God, let alone angels. But there’s no denying the strange changes in her body ... and her feelings for Lincoln. Suddenly, she can’t stand to be around him. Luckily, Phoenix, an exiled angel, has come into her life. He’s intense and enigmatic, but at least he never lied to her.
As Violet gets caught up in an ancient battle between dark and light, she must choose her path. The wrong choice could cost not only her life, but her eternity...
EMBRACE is now (or soon to be) available in the U.S., UK, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, Brazil and Turkey.
To find out more about EMBRACE, check out the book's website. And to pre-order your copy of EMBRACE, click here or here!
Jessica's offering you a peek at a deleted scene from EMBRACE over on the EMBRACE Facebook page (where you can also enter an exclusive giveaway)!
YA Scavenger Hunt CONTEST
As an extra bonus we’ve put together a puzzle with one keyword found on each website. Complete it and you will be eligible for a fantastic GRAND PRIZE which will include signed editions of books, signed bookmarks, jewelry, and many more exclusive gifts with at least one gift from EVERY AUTHOR!
Directions: Search for the 37 keywords—one on each Scavenger Hunt website—that are highlighted in RED. When you are finished, go here to the puzzle form, where you will find a list of scrambled keywords. Put your keywords in the same order as the scrambled ones—from #1 to #37—and paste that list into the entry form.
Rules: To be eligible for the grand prize, you must submit the completed puzzle form before noon on Dec 4th Pacific Time. All the keywords must be included and you must include your full name and address. Entries sent in without name and address will not be considered! The contest is international.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Congrats to S.R. Johannes on the release of this super fun, fast paced, thrill ride!!!!
And starting today you can get your very own copy! (For more formats, check out this link.)
Sunday, November 27, 2011
The T-shirts are $9.56 (including sales tax) for the black, short-sleeved shirts. Standard sizes are Youth S-XL; Women S-XL; Men S-XL (for larger sizes, just add $2.00 for each X beyond XL).
Black Unisex Hoodies are available in S-XL for $23.50 (incl tax) and go up to 3XL, but each additional X is $2.00.
They also have cinch bags similar to this one for DESIRES OF THE DEAD (except, you know, with THE PLEDGE logo on it) for just $5.75 including tax. They are super cute!!!
Also available, but not pictured: Women's Baby Doll tees in Junior sizes S-4XL and they're $15.00 (incl. tax) for S-XL. Add $2.00 for each additional X.
Orders can be placed by calling Sports Connection in Bonney Lake, WA (253) 891-1677. You can also contact them via email at email@example.com.
**Youth sizes are also available, contact the store for pricing info.
U.S. Shipping is $2.00. (If you’re international, again, you’ll need to contact the store to make arrangements with them.)
Whew! I think I covered almost everything, if you have more questions, please get in touch with Sports Connection (not me!)...they really are awesome!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Some of these projects included passing out hundreds of personalized THE PLEDGE candies, making 1000 bookmarks to distribute, photo shoots involving characters and scenes from the book with random readers, plastering hundreds of flyers around schools, and of course taking THE PLEDGE on a trans-continental trip (while still finding the time to spread the love all over NY!).
Of course, all of this means that choosing the Top Five was nearly impossible! So, I decided to put together a crack team of judges (my husband and ten-year-old included) to help make some very (and I’m mean very!) tough decisions. After some serious deliberating, we FINALLY narrowed it down to these five winners:
Karin (and Chelsea) Shearer
Cassidy (and Ally) Finn
Jennifer Sternberg (and the X-treme Readers)
Here were just some of the pics they sent...
BUT!!! There were some Honorable Mentions, too:
I’ll be contacting the Top Five winners so you can choose your prizes...and you Honorable Mentions can expect a little something too! ;)
Thanks again, Street Teamers!!! No matter what, I love you guys and totally appreciate your incredible support!!!
Monday, November 21, 2011
I’ll be choosing winners for the TOP FIVE tomorrow, and let me tell you, there have been some fan-freakin-tastic submissions!!! You guys totally rock!
So, be sure to send me your pictorial evidence to help be make my decision (and so I can post some of them on my blog!).
And even if I don’t choose you, I want you to know how much I appreciate your support...you guys have been the best!!!!!!!!!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Here’s the deal, I got these super sweet WORDS ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS WEAPON OF ALL T-shirts for The Pledge yesterday and I kinda love them.
I wanna share.
So I’m offering up my biggest swag pack yet, including one of these awesome T-shirts, along with a signed finished copy of THE PLEDGE (so shiny!), a Passport (which will mean something once you’ve read the book), stickers, and bookmarks!!!
In exchange, all you have to do is help me spread the word for my launch party, which is in just TWO DAYS (Sunday, Nov. 20th at noon!).
It doesn’t matter if you’re in Boston, somewhere in Europe, or if you’re reading this blog from the streets of Ludania …you ALL have the same chance to win!
Note: No entries allowed from Ludania because my post office doesn’t ship to countries I make up in my books. :)
All you have to do is post a quick message about my launch party (preferably with link) (even better with the pretty launch party poster!) on your:
(Okay, yeah, I made that last one up! But you get the point...any social networking site will do!)
Just post here** in the comment section which site(s) you used and include the user name(s) you posted with...and VOILA you’re entered! Easy peasy.
But you only have two days. This giveaway is open to EVERYONE and ends at noon Pacific Time on Sunday, November 20th. You can earn one point for EACH social networking site you post to, so get out there and start Flarping!!!
**This message cross-posts, so be sure to post comments on the original blog post at www.kimberlyderting.blogspot.com!
UPDATE: Congrats to Petra @ Safari Poet! You won!!!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
So now, not only has THE PLEDGE gotten mad love from KIRKUS and PUBLISHERS WEEKLY, but VOYA is calling it “fast-paced and engrossing”, while BOOKLIST says “Derting (Desires of the Dead, 2011) gives texture to Charlie’s future society, hinting at a not-so distant past when cities had names and people wanted democracy but became corrupt and turned to an all powerful Queen. Danger, dread, mystery, and romance are a potent combination for those that enjoy their dystopian-light fiction action packed.”
They say a lot of other nice stuff too, but you get the gist. And, yes, I’m over-the-moon excited that the reviewers are lovin’ this book...
I hope it’s a good sign!!!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
The Pledge is officially out today!!!!!
I'm excited, worried, and nail-bitingly freaked out!
Does anyone know if these release-day jitters ever go away?
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Even in you don’t live in the Seattle area, you too can get a signed (and even personalized) copy of THE PLEDGE sent right to your home. I mean, yes, you miss out on the chance for sparkling conversation with me, but still...signed copies are pretty awesome, right?!?! (This offer also applies to copies of THE BODY FINDER and DESIRES OF THE DEAD!)
How can I get in on this sweet action, you ask?
Here are the deets: Be specific on the phone! If you want your book(s) personalized, be sure to give the correct name spelling. If you don’t want it personalized (just signed), be specific about that too! Shipping will be $3.99 for the first book, $.99 for each additional book. I’m assuming that’s US residents only...sorry international peeps! Call (253) 839-2535 to place your order.
AND...Speaking of launch parties, don’t forget: This one’s gonna be EPICALLY EPIC! If you like sparkling conversation (and if you live in the area), join me on Sunday, November 20th at noon. I’ve got GREAT prizes lined up, so you’ll totally wanna be there!!!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
So the release is less than two weeks away now, but there are a couple of places where you can get early (and signed!) copies of THE PLEDGE!
I will be making an early appearance at Books & Books in Miami (one of the coolest bookstores I’ve been to) on Thursday, November 10th at 7PM. If you’re anywhere in the Miami area I hope you’ll come and see me!!!! If not, call them, maybe they’ll make some over-the-phone arrangements (although I’m not promising anything!).
And then on Saturday, November 12th, I’m at YALLFest in Charleston, South Carolina (sponsored by the fabulous Blue Bicycle Books)! This is gonna be a whole lotta pie-eating, author-lovin’ goodness. I’m doing panels (signings will be held at Blue Bicycle Books immediately following the panels!):
DEMONS & WITCHES & CASTERS OH MY! with Sarah Rees Brennan, Victoria Schwab, Caitlin Kittredge, Kami Garcia
Moderated by: Kimberly Derting (that’s me!)
4 pm DON’T DIS-TOPIAN with Beth Revis, Kimberly Derting, Diana Peterfreund, Eliot Schefer
And, of course the YA SMACKDOWN at 6 pm. There will be games, food, and a chance to make fun of your favorite YA authors! You SO don’t want to miss this!!!
Then, not to be outdone, if you’re in the Seattle/Tacoma area, there’s always the Epically EPIC Launch Party on Sunday, November 20th. Maybe it’s not early, but it’ll definitely be epic ;)
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
But even better than turning daughters into zombies, my nephew went as Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) from Misery.
Plus, who doesn't want 1600 pieces of candy???
My daughter was totally crossing her fingers that only three kids would show up at our house. No such luck...
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Thanks to everyone who posted, you guys totally rock!!
For those of you who didn’t make it (and for those of you internationally), don’t worry I’ve got other things up my sleeve for you. (Okay, it’s a giveaway...and it’s coming soon!)
Here it is, my official list of The Founding Pledge Street Team members:
kaye (paper reader)
The Erratic Blogger
Jade @ Chasing Empty Pavement
Shannon The Bookstalker
Sarah (Escaping Through Books)
Ashley @ What's Your Story?
(Okay, yes, it's more than 50. I had a hard time counting...and I made an executive decision!)
Dear Pledge Street Team Members: I will be putting together your Pledge Street Team packages this week so please email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) the following info:
Your Blog Name / Screen Name (so I know who you are in the list above!)
Your Actual Name
Your Mailing Address
(Oh, and the name you’d like on your personalized poster!)
And don’t forget, send me your best pics and try to WOW(!!!) me...I’ve got prizes to give away!!!
This is going to be so fun! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!
Are you passionate about YA books???
Do you want to be a member of an exclusive club???
Oh, and did I mention the free SWAG???
If you answered YES, then have I got an offer for you!! I’m on the lookout for FIFTY devoted YA enthusiasts to join my exclusive Street Team for the upcoming launch of THE PLEDGE on November 15th, 2011.
As the launch date gets closer and closer (OMG, it’s next month!), I’m looking for an elite group of Street Teamers to help me spread the word. And no, you don’t even need a BLOG to participate, just a love of free SWAG…and of course a willingness to hit the streets.
Here’s how it works:
First off, I will send you your official THE PLEDGE Street Team care package which will include all kinds of goody giveaways. Once you get your package, my hope is that you will pass out some of that SWAG to schools, libraries, and your favorite bookstores. See if they might be willing to hang a poster or, you know, walk around with a sticker on their foreheads for a month...or at least long enough for you to snap a picture for me.
The only other requirement would be to pass out some bookmarks and stickers to at least ten teens you know (and if you are a teen or know some teens, um hello, how easy would that be???). In general, you just have to be willing to say: “Check out this book, doesn’t it look good?” Or, better yet, if you’ve read it, how about something like: “This book totally rocked!” (THE PLEDGE haters need not apply.)
What’s in it for you, other than really cool stuff, you might ask???
First, not only do you get to call yourself an official Street Team Member (and who wouldn't want to be a "street teamer"?!?!), but I’ll also send you your very own signed THE PLEDGE Passport. Who knows, there may even be a few extra Passports in your care package so you can recruit some Street Teamers of your own.
Sound like something you’d want to do? Okay, so here’s the deal, if you’re interested, leave a comment WITH your email address. THIS WILL ONLY BE AVAILABLE TO THE FIRST FIFTY PEOPLE TO COMMENT** (Sorry, U.S. ONLY). I’ll also be Tweeting this too, so as soon as I reach my FIFTY Street Teamers, I’ll update the post.
P.S. This is all on the trust system so if you decide to just get your SWAG and roll around in it, that’s fine too because I’ll probably never even know.
I’m excited! Are you excited????
** To be counted, comments must be left on the official blog at kimberlyderting.blogspot.com. (Don't leave them on Goodreads, Tumblr, Twitter, LiveJournal, or any other cross-posted site!)
UPDATE: WE HAVE OUR STREET TEAMERS! See the next post for details!!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Brooklynn’s voice drew my attention. “What kind of evidence did they find?” she asked Aron, her voice tight. News of Cheyenne’s imprisonment was making everyone edgy.
Unfortunately, however, Cheyenne wasn’t alone. Whispers of disloyalty to the crown had begun to take root, starting like a virus and spreading like a plague. It infected and corrupted ordinary citizens, as rewards were being offered to those willing to report anyone they suspected of subversion. People turned against one another, seeking information against friends, neighbors, even family members, in order to gain favor with the queen. Trust had become a commodity few could afford.
And real evidence—the kind that could be substantiated beyond petty gossip—was deadly.
“They found maps in her possession. Maps belonging to the resistance.”
Brook’s lips tightened and her head dropped. “Damn.”
But I wasn’t convinced. “How can they be certain they’re rebel maps? Who told you this?”
He looked up, and his sorrowful gold-flecked eyes stared back at me. “Her brother told me. It was her father who turned her in.”
Thursday, October 6, 2011
PARTY!!!! As in huge, major, epically epic launch party for the release!!!
That’s right, I said it: EPICALLY EPIC. (That’s way better than just plain old epic!)
(You have to read this next part in your best Monster-Truck-Show-Announcer-Voice)
(Okay, back to your normal voice)
We are having the launch party on Sunday, November 20th at noon at the Barnes and Noble in Federal Way, WA. (Back to Monster-Truck-Show-Announcer-Voice!) Bring your friends, bring your family, bring your friends’ families to this once-in-a-lifetime HUGE , MAJOR, EPICALLY EPIC launch party for THE PLEDGE!!!!
See? How much cooler was that in your announcer voice??? Okay, you can totally go back to your regular voice now.
Actually, I might start writing all my future books in that voice.
Seriously, though, we’ll have prizes (really, really good ones with on and off buttons!), refreshments, and good old fashioned fun!!!!!
And just think about what a great gift a signed copy of The Pledge would make...for, um, Thanksgiving! ;)
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Since I’d originally intended THE PLEDGE to be a trilogy, I’m super duper fab-tabulously excited to announce that’s it’s official: THE PLEDGE will, in fact, be the first book of a TRILOGY!!!!
See the announcement that was in Publisher's Marketplace this morning:
Kimberly Derting's THE PLEDGE series, books 2 and 3, in which a teen girl in an oppressive society, who has a secret ability to speak all languages, meets a mysterious and beautiful teen boy who speaks a language she's never heard, and discovers she is the key to her country's survival, to Ruta Rimas and Justin Chanda at McElderry Books, for publication in Fall 2012 and 2013, by Laura Rennert at Andrea Brown Literary Agency (NA).
Whew!!!! I’m so glad that’s FINALLY out there! I am the world’s worst secret keeper, and it kills me to have to hide things like that.
I’m excited. I hope you are too.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Author: Derting, Kimberly
A girl reluctantly faces her destiny in this gripping dystopian fantasy.
Seventeen-year-old “Charlie” knows she has unusual, even dangerous, powers. In the far future, in a land controlled by a brutal and ancient queen, the common language of Englaise may be spoken and understood freely, but all upper classes have their own languages. If a lower-class person even looks up when such languages are spoken they are subject to execution. Charlie can understand all languages, a fact she hides to protect her life. As war descends on her city, Charlie hides with handsome Max, a member of an upper class who pledges to protect her. But why? When Charlie discovers a vast underground rebel camp she also learns a highly guarded secret: She herself may be the cause of the rebellion. Derting (Desires of the Dead, 2011, etc.) keeps her story consistently engaging through vivid description and brisk pacing, propelling Charlie through her adventure. She throws enough romance into the mix to satisfy but keeps the main focus on suspense. Although some of the plot depends on the paranormal, turning the story more into a fantasy than a dystopia, the author keeps readers involved all the way by gradually increasing the emotional pressure on Charlie.
More great suspense from a prolific new writer with a vibrant imagination. (Dystopian fantasy. 12 & up)
YAY!!! Kinda makes me wanna kiss Kirkus on the lips!
And check this out, you can enter to win a signed advance copy of this "gripping dystopian fantasy" over on Goodreads.
Can I just say it again? YAY!!!!!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Kami Garcia, Margaret Stohl, David Levithan, Melissa de la Cruz, Heather Brewer, Gayle Foreman, Kaleb Nation, Ellen Hopkins, Andrea Cremer, Beth Revis, Carrie Ryan, Sarah Rees Brennan, Isaac Marion, and…wait for it…
And the best part…there are more authors who are yet to be announced(!!!!). I know, right???
This is gonna be epic. Somewhere in the realm of ARE-YOU-FREAKING-KIDDING-ME epic!
You should totally be there. I know I will.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
I thought about just lying, because, hey, I’m a fiction writer, it’s what I do. But then I decided it would be better to be brutally honest. The problem is that my 21st birthday was so unforgettable, that even I don’t remember it! So my response was something like, “Can I just do a post about how I wish I’d celebrated my 21st birthday? Kind of a do-over post???”
And after putting myself back into my 21-year-old mind (a somewhat frightening place to go, actually), I came up with this:
My 21-Year-Old Do-Over
Okay, so my 21st birthday was lame. Super lame.
How do I remember? Well, that’s just it. I don’t. I’m sure I didn’t do anything…you know, other than popping a bowl of popcorn in my ginormous 1989 microwave and watching a VHS tape of Back to the Future while the clock struck midnight without so much as a Woot Woot!
So what would I have done differently, you ask? (Psst, pretend you just asked me.)
Just imagine it:
First, I’m totally decked out in my Madonna wear (head to toe). Okay, so yes, she’s recently changed up her look and now she’s all Blond Ambition, but I’m not buying into it just yet. I’m still the Like A Virgin Madonna with my bangles and headbands and leggings. And lace. Oh My God, lots and lots of lace!
I. Look. AWESOME!
My girls (this is before they were called peeps) and I hop into my sweet 1987 Nissan Pulsar, the white one with the plush maroon interior, and head out to the club. We blast a little Straight Up by Paula Abdul. (She’s no Madonna, but she is #1 on the charts, so she’ll do.)
The line at the club is long, but since we look so fly, the bouncer lets us right in. Posers and skanks are SO hatin’ on us, but we totally don’t care.
Inside, we beeline straight to the bar and order our first real drinks. (Okay, our first legal drinks.) I try a martini. Sure, it looks cool, but GRODY! I drink it anyway because I can’t afford to waste it. I only have ten bucks (I’m 21, what can I say?).
When we hear our song: Borderline, by who else? Madonna! We all squeal (cuz that’s what girls did…and still do!) and run to the dancefloor in a cluster. We look the part and dance the part. We ARE the part! For five short minutes, we are the closest to Madonna we will ever be.
By the end of the night, I’m sweaty, my feet hurt, my eyeliner is so smudged I look like a raccoon, and I’ve learned that my favorite drinks are Bartles & James wine coolers. (Okay, that last part I might have already known.)
Best 21st birthday do-over ever!!!
Man, even in my do-over I’m a dork…
So, what about you? What did you do for your 21st? (Or if you’re not 21 yet, what do you plan to do?)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Or the girl who daydreamed of wearing one-piece, bellbottom jumpsuits and feathered hair, while brandishing a gun and big, shiny pearly whites…all while being a part of a covert, all female crime fighting trio?
Or the one who made na-na-na-na-na sounds when she ran in slow-motion to signify she was actually running at super-speed???
*guiltily raises hand* Well, here I am!
So was I cool? Maybe not as much as I’d hoped…but what little girl of the 70s didn’t want to be the kind of liberated woman who could give a smack down and still have all the “foxy” men drooling at her feet?
Plus, these ladies had the coolest hair. (Way cooler than that Dorothy Hamill chick!)
At least until the 80s came along, and Olivia Newton John taught me that disco roller skating was what all the cool kids were into…
So, who did you want to be, because I know I wasn’t alone???
And for all you teens out there who have no idea what I’m talking about, I have four words for you: Go. Ask. Your. Mom.