ANOTHER GUEST POST (and a chance to win FIRELIGHT!)
When I was deciding on guest post-ers, one of the people who first came to mind was Jeanette Schneider (or as you may know her around the blog-o-sphere: Little Ms. J). She's the say-it-like-it-is writer who doesn't candy coat anything. ANY. THING.
And that's what I love most about her.
CASE IN POINT,this is the first line in one of her recent blog posts:
"My grandma can kick your grandma's ass."
Tell me you don't want to read the rest of the entry after an opening line like that!
She also writes heart-breaking, soul-bearing posts on her journey to becoming a mother. She can make me laugh and cry in the same thirty-second span. Now that's talent.
So, here she is, Little Ms. J:
When Kim first asked me to guest blog I jumped at the chance. After all, she is a published author and could be good for my career. I tried to think of things that would befit a YA readership. I do believe Kim’s exact words were, “Let’s *try* to keep it PG-13, lady.”
I laughed as I thought of this over the weekend. My dad sat at my favorite Mexican restaurant on Davis Island with me and my teenage co-conspirator, Rhena. We looked different, we sounded different, but as we started talking all the old memories came back. There was the time we were mistaken for prostitutes as we walked down a road in sun dresses, the time we sat in a hot tub with some fighter pilots until we pruned, the time we called my dad, a minister, and giggled into the phone, “So, how do we feel about oral sex? Godly? Deadly?”
After dad choked on whatever he was eating at that time and again over the weekend, I realized that trying too hard to be “teen-friendly” was not going to work well for me. Rhena leaned over and looked at my father, “You were the only adult we could ever go to and ask real questions. My parents would’ve grounded me.” She recounted her daughter’s recent curiosity after her first day of 7th grade, “Mom, we need to talk. What is this blow job thing I keep hearing about? Thank God she thought it was absolutely disgusting.”
Dad looked as if he needed another drink.
We giggled, reminisced and as the night wore down I hugged my friend, promising to come home more often.
I thought of the blog again today and it may or may not have been at Kim’s urging. I wondered what I would write about. I hobbled to my bed and tried to squish a pillow between my knees in the exact right way it would keep my back from spasm. Between a car accident and infertility I’ve realized that I’m just about ready to start using a S-M-T-W-T-F-S pill box to get organized. I only need a glass to put my teeth in to finish the picture that I never wanted to create. I stared at a table full of pill bottles and thought of how far I’d come from the days when Rhena and I were getting into trouble, making my dad shake his head, making boys crazy. At first I thought I was so far from those girls that read YA; those girls giggling in the Hollister stores, those girls picking Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team Jay.
But, I’m not.
Next to my pill bottles, next to it all sit the books that fill my head with all the things that sew me up, set me still, make me full of life and story. I may look a little different. I may have creams for the lines around my eyes, I may be able to afford a beautiful pair of shoes that I couldn’t when I was sixteen. I may choose vampires over Claudia, Stacey and the rest of the babysitters of my past. I may read Chelsea only because my dad will never find out.
But, when a girl, any girl, puts her nose between the pages of a book the rest fades away.
And, that in itself is better than Vicodin.
Author’s Note - THE BODY FINDER is only missing from the picture because it was loaned to my BFF, Amie, who has been threatened with dismemberment if she damages it before Kim gets to sign it in person.
(I like how somehow "keep it clean" translated into "you should totally talk about BJs!" LOL!)
AWESOME POST, LMJ!!!! I'm so glad you joined us!!!
And don't forget, this is another (your third!) opportunity to try to win the super-awesome prize giveaway…yes, the one that includes an ARC of Sophie Jordan's FIRELIGHT. All you have to do is leave a comment!
And that's what I love most about her.
CASE IN POINT,this is the first line in one of her recent blog posts:
"My grandma can kick your grandma's ass."
Tell me you don't want to read the rest of the entry after an opening line like that!
She also writes heart-breaking, soul-bearing posts on her journey to becoming a mother. She can make me laugh and cry in the same thirty-second span. Now that's talent.
So, here she is, Little Ms. J:
When Kim first asked me to guest blog I jumped at the chance. After all, she is a published author and could be good for my career. I tried to think of things that would befit a YA readership. I do believe Kim’s exact words were, “Let’s *try* to keep it PG-13, lady.”
I laughed as I thought of this over the weekend. My dad sat at my favorite Mexican restaurant on Davis Island with me and my teenage co-conspirator, Rhena. We looked different, we sounded different, but as we started talking all the old memories came back. There was the time we were mistaken for prostitutes as we walked down a road in sun dresses, the time we sat in a hot tub with some fighter pilots until we pruned, the time we called my dad, a minister, and giggled into the phone, “So, how do we feel about oral sex? Godly? Deadly?”
After dad choked on whatever he was eating at that time and again over the weekend, I realized that trying too hard to be “teen-friendly” was not going to work well for me. Rhena leaned over and looked at my father, “You were the only adult we could ever go to and ask real questions. My parents would’ve grounded me.” She recounted her daughter’s recent curiosity after her first day of 7th grade, “Mom, we need to talk. What is this blow job thing I keep hearing about? Thank God she thought it was absolutely disgusting.”
Dad looked as if he needed another drink.
We giggled, reminisced and as the night wore down I hugged my friend, promising to come home more often.
I thought of the blog again today and it may or may not have been at Kim’s urging. I wondered what I would write about. I hobbled to my bed and tried to squish a pillow between my knees in the exact right way it would keep my back from spasm. Between a car accident and infertility I’ve realized that I’m just about ready to start using a S-M-T-W-T-F-S pill box to get organized. I only need a glass to put my teeth in to finish the picture that I never wanted to create. I stared at a table full of pill bottles and thought of how far I’d come from the days when Rhena and I were getting into trouble, making my dad shake his head, making boys crazy. At first I thought I was so far from those girls that read YA; those girls giggling in the Hollister stores, those girls picking Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team Jay.
But, I’m not.
Next to my pill bottles, next to it all sit the books that fill my head with all the things that sew me up, set me still, make me full of life and story. I may look a little different. I may have creams for the lines around my eyes, I may be able to afford a beautiful pair of shoes that I couldn’t when I was sixteen. I may choose vampires over Claudia, Stacey and the rest of the babysitters of my past. I may read Chelsea only because my dad will never find out.
But, when a girl, any girl, puts her nose between the pages of a book the rest fades away.
And, that in itself is better than Vicodin.
Author’s Note - THE BODY FINDER is only missing from the picture because it was loaned to my BFF, Amie, who has been threatened with dismemberment if she damages it before Kim gets to sign it in person.
(I like how somehow "keep it clean" translated into "you should totally talk about BJs!" LOL!)
AWESOME POST, LMJ!!!! I'm so glad you joined us!!!
And don't forget, this is another (your third!) opportunity to try to win the super-awesome prize giveaway…yes, the one that includes an ARC of Sophie Jordan's FIRELIGHT. All you have to do is leave a comment!
Comments
-Kate
sithereandread (at) gmail (dot) com
Thanks for yet another great post! :) And yes, I'd love to win Firelight.
Books do make life a bit easier. I love escaping into their worlds.
And she's right, books are totally better than botox (um, and BJs, but that goes without saying...)
Love you girls! Can you believe we've never actually met in person? Can you imagine when we actually do!?!? It's going to be INSANE. XOXO
a_readers_adventure(at)yahoo(dot)com
I am excited to read Firelight!
~Alison
lostinbelieving(at)yahoo(dot)com
lesly7ch(at)yahoo(dot)com
addicted2novels(at)gmail(dot)com
Hope reading works for you!
Thanks, Kim!
Trini @ A Book Lovers Review
abookloversreview@gmail.com
henderkd(at)email(dot)sc(dot)edu
readingaddict63@aol.com
Reading Addict
Thanks,
misha
mishamary@gmail.com
I'm a nurse, and even I think that is a lot of prescriptions!
I want Firelight!
throuthehaze at gmail dot com
I loved the post, very funny!
maryflorido(at)hotmail(dot)com
;)
brandileigh2003@yahoo.com
Mallory (The Teen Bibliophile)
cupidgurl411(at)aol(dot)com
~Icenek0
I love this: "My parents would have grounded me." as an excuse not to say it to her parents. :P
Also, she talked about how she THOUGHT about keeping it clean, so technically.... :D
Cherry Mischievous
mischivus101-warrior [at] yahoo [dot] com
-Cara
carabee14@gmail.com
chickenherder@hotmail.com
Cheers!
Emma :)
Hysterical post, as expected :)
Love all you guys
Mwah!
kwfuller1090(at)gmail(dot)com
If the giveaway is International, please enter me.
Thanks
Carol T
buddytho {at} gmail DOT com
Thanks for the chance to win the book!
totalbookaholic[at]hotmail[dot]com
And your dad sounds pretty awesome. His reaction is perfectly "dad-like", lol.
Thanks for the chance to win Firelight.
ambience.of.rain {at} gmail.com
k_anon@hotmail.co.uk
Tina G
tina_gagnier@yahoo.com
entrelibros_blog at hotmail.com
-Kristin
Cuddlz811@hotmail.com
great post =DDD
This applies to so many things. It can apply to the shy little girl in the corner (me), or the one facing problems in their lives. Thank you for this post!
-Jessica T.
jessicatapia_afuel07(at)hotmail(dot)com
Love, Hannah
Such a funny post!
eva.s.black[@]gmail[.]com
jpetroroy at gmail dot com
Plus, obviously: books > life :D. Books make everything better, in my opinon.
Sam
sslager@live.com
Great post!
I would be so embarrassed to tell my dad I was mistaken for a prostitute, and he isn't even a minister!
Funny.
camisadomind (at) yahoo (dot) com
(:
Cant wait for Firelight! and Desires of the Dead wink wink
That story how you called up your dad a minister! and asked/talked about oral sex, had me choking on laughter! :-D
And I'm amazed that nowadays kids of 7th grade know all about BJs! The world is really changing!
Thanks for the fun post! :-D
stella.exlibris (at) gmail (dot) com
Christina
clderwee at gmail dot com
Cassandra C
cassandra dot crouser at yahoo dot ca
Thanks!! from the fuzzy little wombat.
Lora Wiedenheft
chaarmedone1512@aol.com